If you and I have had a conversation, chances are music came up at some point. Music has been one of God's greatest gifts to me. He has used it to show me many of his promises, his commands, and aspects of his character. One of my favorite things is to find scripture that fits with a song. Some of the most impact filled and powerful worship songs for me have come straight from scripture.
The song that has been on my mind for several weeks now is the Sidewalk Prophets song "Keep Making Me". If you haven't heard it, give it a listen before you keep reading! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fqap3BvxJAw
When I first actually listened closely to the words of this song, I was a little confused. Make me lonely? No thanks, I've had enough of that! In fact, I've spent many days and nights praying for the opposite of loneliness. Lord, bring me a friend, bring me someone I can trust, bring me someone I can be close to. I can't tell you the number of times I have been in tears over this very thing. How desperately I wanted to have that one special friend that I could talk to about anything and everything at any time. So after that I stopped singing along when this song came on the radio because I couldn't bring myself to ask God to make me lonely. After all, I thought to myself, most days I already am!
And then one day it just clicked. Make me lonely, so I can be Yours. Is there anything better than being His? Is there any friend, any boyfriend, any person on this earth that can be a better companion for me than my Savior?
Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
'Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
'Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely
He will never leave me alone when the darkness comes, when the hard days hit. He won't ever say the wrong thing, hurt my feelings, abandon me or use me. (Psalm 94:14) The more I draw near to him in my times of loneliness, the more comfort I find. I'm not saying that I am always happy with my situation or that I don't wish for something more, but I believe God has me in the place of loneliness for a reason. To mold me into a better mother, a better daughter, a better sister, a better teacher, a better friend.
My prayers have changed. It scares me to pray for loneliness. But I trust my God and his plan for me. I trust that he is using this time for something great. I pray that God makes me lonely so I am focused on Him. When my focus is on Him, my heart is at peace. Even in the loneliness.
